We began the session with our usual practice of śamatha, calm-abiding meditation, under the skillful guidance of our resident teacher, Acharya Lhakpa Tshering. He emphasized the importance of sitting straight, with meditative discipline, yet with a sense of relaxation. In addition, we don’t need to alter our breathing in any way but simply to breathe normally and be aware. “Just be aware,” he said.
Three Higher Trainings
Following our meditation practice and opening chants, Acharya Lhakpa briefly taught about the three higher trainings: the higher training in moral discipline, the higher training in meditation or concentration, the higher training in wisdom. “All the teachings of the Buddha are encompassed by these three higher trainings.”
These three trainings are part of teachings in the Bodhisattva Collection and are taught as an antidote to the mental afflictions, especially the three poisons. Removing those is a key part of our practice on the heroic path of compassion. The training in moral discipline is taught as an antidote to our attachments. The training in concentration is to work with our aversion. The training in wisdom is the antidote to our ignorance or delusion.
Protecting Ourselves at the Beginning
While keeping in mind the purpose of the three higher trainings and how they relate to our mental afflictions, Acharya Lhakpa turned towards the fifth verse from Ngulchu Tokmé’s Thirty-Seven Practices of a Bodhisattva. In the English translation of the text by Christopher Stagg, this verse reads as follows:
“If you spend time with this one, the three poisons will proliferate;
The deeds of hearing, contemplating, and meditating will diminish;
And loving-kindness and compassion will become extinct.
To abandon negative friends is the practice of a bodhisattva.” (5)
The common meaning of this verse is that we need to distance ourselves from and avoid friends or companions who ignite our afflictions. Just being in their presence can increase our disturbing emotions, especially the three poisons, which are the root of all our suffering and can kill the root of enlightenment. Acharya Lhakpa likened this to having an allergy for certain foods, be it peanuts, eggs, cilantro, or anything else that we should avoid. In a similar way, as beginners on the path, we need to protect the seed of enlightenment by watching out for and avoiding negative friends.
There is, however, a hidden meaning that refers to our self-indulgence or self-fixation. The three poisons will naturally increase, Acharya pointed out, if we fall into the extreme of grasping at a self. He illustrated this meaning with a quotation from the Sūtra called Application of Mindfulness Sūtra:
“The bad companion that serves as the basis for attachment, aggression, and ignorance, should be viewed as a poisonous tree.”
While the “poisonous tree,” commonly refers to negative friends, it can also be understood as a metaphor for self-indulgence. Thus, the hidden meaning refers to lessening our self-fixation and opening ourselves more to other sentient beings.
The Need for Distance
According to Ngulchu Tokmé’s text, there are three reasons why we should avoid negative friends and distance ourselves from them:
- They will not help us achieve the goal of practicing the dharma that aims to fully unroot the poisons
- Our ability to engage in the activities of listening, contemplating, and meditating or practicing the dharma, necessary to make this human life meaningful (as pointed out in the first verse), will decline if we spend time with negative friends
- Hanging out with companions who have strong negative afflictions will cause the end of our loving-kindness and compassion
Acharya Lhakpa said that these are the reasons why we, as beginners or ordinary bodhisattvas, need to distance ourselves from such negative friends.
Transforming Venom into Medicine
On the other hand, Acharya Lhakpa commented, the bodhisattvas or highly accomplished beings like Buddha Shakyamuni are able to turn negative friends and the three poisons into favorable conditions. Much like a person who knows how to transform the venom of a snake into medicine, a bodhisattva does not need to create distance or keep away from negative friends.
However, he stressed, it is important for us to understand whether or not we have the realization needed to take such negativity onto the path of the bodhisattvas. When we think of this path, we could generally say that we seek out full awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings. You may wonder, Acharya said, whether the instruction of abandoning negative friends is not in contradiction with this purpose. “This is not the case,” he said. “It depends on our realization whether we can work with negative friends at this point, right now, or not. So, depending on our realization, we need to keep some distance or turn negativity into something positive.”
Virtuous Qualities Expanding Like the Waxing Moon
As beginning practitioners, once we distance ourselves from negative friends, what do we need in order to develop our positive qualities like hearing, reflecting, and meditating, as well as loving-kindness and compassion? This, Acharya said, is taught in the next verse:
“If you rely on this one, your faults will become exhausted
And your qualities will expand like the waxing moon.
To cherish a genuine spiritual friend
Even more than one’s own body is the practice of a bodhisattva.” (6)
The term ‘spiritual friend’ (Sanskrit: kalyāṇamitra) used by Ngulchu Tokmé refers to a friend who has virtuous qualities. This friend already has developed the positive qualities or at least has engaged in the three higher trainings, and possesses loving-kindness, compassion, and bodhicitta. Therefore, when we rely on such a friend, our own positive qualities will increase like the waxing moon. So, Acharya said, “after we distance ourselves from negative friends, we must rely on a positive friend. Once we find such a teacher or spiritual friend, then one should consider this friend more precious than one’s own body.” That is the instruction found in this sixth verse.
Shorten and end our time in saṃsāra
Acharya continued by asking why Ngulchu Tokmé would give such an instruction. The answer, he said, is that among all our belongings, our house and everything else, we cherish our body the most. Every single day, we strive very hard to ensure our body is in good condition through the clothes we wear, the food we eat, and the medicine we use. However, he commented, “this body that we have right now, is only for this life. Relying on a spiritual friend will enable us to put an end to our suffering. If we are not yet able to end it, at least we can shorten our time in the world of saṃsāra.”
Acharya stated that this is the reason why the verse says: “To cherish a genuine spiritual friend even more than one’s own body.” This does not mean, he continued, that we don’t need to take care of our own bodies. Rather, Ngulchu Tokmé’s message here is about the importance of the spiritual friend. While there are many instructions on how to go about finding and examining a teacher for many years, and conversely a teacher examining a student, Acharya said that subject could be for another time as it is an important topic. Yet, he thought, maybe we can find a skillful way to recognize our spiritual friend sooner in this busy world.
With those words, Acharya concluded our session, we dedicated the merit, and he warmly invited everyone to join again next Sunday.